“We all have a basic human right to connection.” 

What an important quote from Jodi Rodgers, a Counselor and Sexologist at Birds and Bees Pty, Ltd.  She specializes in relationship and sexuality counseling for those with disabilities. 

Many of us have heard the myths about those with autism lacking empathy or affection.  In my experience this simply is not true.  I think it is more accurate to say that many people on spectrum have some difficulty in displaying affection or perhaps have difficulty understanding what other people’s perspectives may be.  There can also be some difficulty with understanding social cues or social expectations for friendships or romantic relationships.  This is where some of these misconceptions may come from.  

What I have experienced with those on spectrum are people who really want and long for connection just like everyone else. The difference may be that those of us that are in relationship with those on spectrum need to be as transparent as we can.  We need to be clear about what our expectations are and how we like to communicate. We also need to ask the same of others.  What are their expectations in the relationship? How do they want to interact in the relationship? What makes them feel more comfortable to share how they are feeling? These may seem like good parameters for all relationships but the difference may also lie in what the responses may be. 

We may have a specific idea of what relationships look like but for many on spectrum relationship structures may look different and the day to day interactions can vary.  Again, we need to get rid of what preconceived notions we may have and be open to new possibilities and new ways of connecting.  It won’t always be easy but whether the relationship is with family, a friend or a partner it will most definitely be worth the effort.